Do we bring some stress upon ourselves?

Yes - there are several ways we can add stress to ourselves, and one way is:

Just can't say "NO".
When asked to do something, many of us automatically say "Yes!" when in fact our feeling is really "No, I don't want to do that!"  But we say "Yes".
There are many reasons for this and a few common ones are - 

• one reason is as Oprah Winfrey referred to as "The Disease to Please," an unconscious desire to always please, or be pleasant to everyone, perhaps instilled during childhood.
• another may be fear of the person making the request or demand - or fear of their anger or disapproval.  Some help may be required here to alleviate this problem.
• we may put others' needs ahead of our own - this means we do not value ourselves enough to think what is best for us - maybe our self esteem is not what it should be.

Either way, putting someone else's needs before our own is not healthy - what happens is that we load ourselves up beyond what we really want or can do, with the result that resentment can build up inside us, adding to any stress we already are carrying.

A more healthy approach is to start to value ourselves as being worthy of being looked after - not just being around for everyone else.  It's not selfish to think of what is best for us - if we do what is right for us, we will be more available to those who really need us and be more relaxed about everything too.

A good article to read on this subject is from the Seattle Times which covers many of these issues and some remedies.

Learning to say: "No thank you." is an empowering action that can save you much heart-ache - and we do not have to go into the reasons for our polite refusal - it has been said that " 'No' is a complete sentence".  Giving reasons opens up the possibility of your requester being able to manipulate you into doing what is wanted.  If pressed by "Why not?" we can respond with something like: "I am just not able to do that." and leave it at that.

The first time you try this will be scary perhaps, but after that you will find that others will think twice before asking you to do things for them.

Try it.  You have nothing to lose except some unwanted burden.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

Looking back at when I was going through several "challenging" periods of my life, I have realised one thing: at those times I  SELDOM  LAUGHED  MUCH.  

I was too "uptight" and everything seemed so SERIOUS - how could I feel happy?

So it seems to me that when we feel "unstressed" we feel happy, or perhaps contented, and we can laugh more easily.

So I can ask you this question, dear reader: "How do YOU feel right now - have you LAUGHED much today?

Or are you grouchy,  frowning, have a tic under an eye, can't sit still, feel nervous or jumpy, feel that there are a lot of things piled up for you to do .... I have felt all of these too.

Can you laugh, really laugh at a joke or what someone says - do your eyes light up, and your belly tremble, or does the laugh stop at your lips?

If you want to "lighten up" and lose that feeling of pressure, then that is what this blog is all about - the "HELP PAGES"  over on the right hand side are for you to tap into what I have learned over the years, and it won't cost you anything. 

Please have a look at those "HELP PAGES" - you may find what you need.  I hope so - because this blog is for YOU!

IS IT EASIER TO KEEP SUFFERING STRESS?

When some people are suffering from a stressful situation, we have observed that sometimes, folks actually find it less painful to keep on complaining about their situation (and getting sympathy perhaps) than to actually DO something to make a change. 

Perhaps there is something of the martyr in most of us! At least we get some attention.

Many folks have problems with making a change in their lives - maybe its easier to keep going and hoping that one day things will get better.

But to keep on feeling harassed, short of time, under pressure or constant tension are the very things that over time start to cause health problems for our bodies - there IS a connection between how we feel and the health of our bodies - see previous post.

This blog hopes to help people to come to grips with making some beneficial changes that will reduce the negative impact that stress is having in their lives.  That's what the HELP PAGES are for over on the right - a step by step way to make some positive changes.

CAN STRESS CAUSE ILLNESS?

Some form of stress is part of our lives - even many animals feel stress in their everyday lives (except most household pets!!)  Modest stress keeps us pepped up and able to cope.

But have you ever noticed after you have been under a lot of pressure, that soon after you pick up a cold?
Have you ever heard of someone coming down with a heart attack after a long period of over work?

Could there a connection between our emotions and our bodily functions?   Read what the respected Mayo Clinic has to say.
Many health authorities are now aware that there IS a connection between on-going, unaddressed stressful reactions and the onset of a disease.  Read what a Victorian Government health information site has to say about stress and disease.

Yet some people seem to thrive on being under pressure.  The key difference seems to be how we REACT to a stressful situation.  Some folks can adapt to on-going pressure and stay OK.  Others start to suffer.

If you feel that you are starting to suffer from an on-going stressful situation, then these pages are for you - the "Help Pages" on the right offer some practical ways to start relieving yourself of unnecessary stress, then look at bigger stress issues.

I am not a professional - just an ordinary guy who has lived through a lot of changes and situations over 70 plus years, suffered, learned coping skills and obtained help along the way - what is offered is the benefit of my experience and learning.

I hope you find some relief from working through these pages.