But if you REALLY would like some peace of mind, or inner peace, or inner calm, then you can do more.
This involves adopting a different attitude to the world and its ways - changing how we react to things. What I will cover is only a start to what can become an ongoing study - but it IS a start.
DIFFERENT ATTITUDE TO PEOPLE
- Learn to admit when you are wrong - Drop defensive attitudes and instead when you are wrong, promptly admit it. This reduces barriers between you and others - and people will trust you more.
- Learn to forgive others - Not for those that hurt you - BUT FOR YOU and your peace of mind. Holding resentments over past wrongs maintains tension within oneself. Remember that none of us are perfect - adopt a "Live and Let Live" approach to people.
- Learn to say "NO" - Do you get overloaded, treated like a doormat or feel "used"? Then learn to say "No" to requests that you really do not wish to honour. This saves you from yourself as maybe you are scared of upsetting people - when in reality you do them a favour: they are then forced to find someone who may benefit from the requested action.
- Think - How important is this? - Before reacting to some situation, asking oneself this question will get the "big picture" perspective. Everything is NOT a drama - will this event be remembered in one year's time? Think first. If it IS important - go for it.
- Take mini - breaks when the pressure is on - when you feel really overwhelmed, learning to take 5 minutes as a break can break the tension cycle. Stop, maybe get up and walk outside or go somewhere quiet and think about your favourite Holiday place or a favourite view. Stay in that place for a few minutes- daydream if you like - then go back to work. Refreshed. Less tense.
- Simplify - Life IS complicated these days but you can reduce some pressure by reviewing the things that you have or do and asking questions like
- do I really need that gizmo, would I really USE it often?
- I have not touched that gadget for two years - do I really NEED it?
- do I really need to do that each week, have things changed?
- do I really need to read all this stuff?
- Learn to accept reality - maybe you wish things were different or better, but cannot see a way to change things. You can remove some inner tension by accepting what IS rather than building up feelings of resentment. Time changes things - maybe later things will be better. Resentments burn up energy. Accept what is for the time being.
- Concentrate your energy on things you CAN change - as discussed earlier in the Help Page "REMOVE SOME FRUSTRATIONS", it's rewarding to change the smaller hassles that you can do something about - spend some time making those changes within YOUR control.
- Live for the day - if you are focusing on some future, better time then you are maybe wasting THIS very day. Instead learn to live "One day at a time" and get the most out of TODAY. It helps to remember this saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, we only have today."
NOW is our only reality, NOW is when we are living. Look at the interesting things around you - enjoy what you do moment by moment. Accept menial tasks - they are worth doing.
Many self-help programs have adopted a wonderful prayer for use when things seem tough - "The Serenity Prayer" :
"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference."
This simple prayer is worth learning - saying it a few times is very comforting and relieves stressed feelings. Note: "God" refers to your understanding of a power greater than yourself.
Changing our attitudes to life is a big subject and you can learn much from PETREA KING - "Peace of mind"
Now we can look at the next Help Page : THINGS NOT EASILY FIXED for some coping strategies.
