One way some of us add stress to ourselves is keeping very busy doing stuff so that we don't have time to think about what hurts us. It's sort of an escape.
Why do we do this?
Because: it's hard to address or face what is hurting us. That is real hard - we don't want that pain back.
It is easier to just keep our minds busy so that we cannot think about it, nor feel it.
But it's a viscous circle: sooner or later those repressed feelings of hurt will bubble up and make us feel bad.
I sometimes think these repressed hurts resurface every ten years or so, but whatever the time frame is, they will come back. By ignoring them, they do not go away.
And, when there is something inside of us simmering away, it can make us tense without even knowing it.
What does this mean?
If we want inner peace to come, one day we will have to start facing those buried feelings of hurt, and deal with them once and for all.
Authors such as Eckhardt Tolle and Petrea King have specifically addressed the handling of those things that hurt us, often from long ago.
Maybe if this sounds like you, some research may be a good start.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness as a way to reduce stress? Really?
Why is forgiveness so important?
Because when we hold grudges, resentment, bitterness or anger against someone or something, all we are doing is adding stress to our body. We are only harming ourselves.
Probably you know that your grudge doesn't really matter to the person or thing causing our anger: they would consider that our problem, not theirs.
It's commonly recognised now that anger or resentment held in our bodies for long enough will cause harm to our physiology: it can make us sick. What's the point of that? The cause of our anger is totally unaffected.
And sometimes, we have to learn to forgive: OURSELVES. Yes, ourselves: for the silly or harmful things we have done; for the mistakes we've made; the things we did not do; the things we did; all of the things we regret in our life.
This is the way to inner peace: forgiveness cancels the poison of anger, resentment and bitterness we hold.
This is not easy, but an important step in reducing the stress in our lives.
I hope that you start to think about the anger or resentments you hold against someone or something or even yourself. Is there any latent anger in you? Why do you feel that way?
I hope you do some further reading on letting go of anger and resentments: it's important for our health.
Let me know what you think!
Why is forgiveness so important?
Because when we hold grudges, resentment, bitterness or anger against someone or something, all we are doing is adding stress to our body. We are only harming ourselves.
Probably you know that your grudge doesn't really matter to the person or thing causing our anger: they would consider that our problem, not theirs.
It's commonly recognised now that anger or resentment held in our bodies for long enough will cause harm to our physiology: it can make us sick. What's the point of that? The cause of our anger is totally unaffected.
And sometimes, we have to learn to forgive: OURSELVES. Yes, ourselves: for the silly or harmful things we have done; for the mistakes we've made; the things we did not do; the things we did; all of the things we regret in our life.
This is the way to inner peace: forgiveness cancels the poison of anger, resentment and bitterness we hold.
This is not easy, but an important step in reducing the stress in our lives.
I hope that you start to think about the anger or resentments you hold against someone or something or even yourself. Is there any latent anger in you? Why do you feel that way?
I hope you do some further reading on letting go of anger and resentments: it's important for our health.
Let me know what you think!
Friday, October 19, 2012
WHEN DO I NEED HELP?
Sometimes we find ourselves living with so much in-built tension or stress that we begin to think it is normal to feel that way,
At one time in my life I took action to remove myself from a source of stress. After a couple of weeks I suddenly found that my stomach muscles were relaxed. Only then did I realise that for years I had been so uptight my stomach muscles were always tight - suddenly I was relaxed and had some inner peace.
It may be worth while taking stock of one's inner peace level - or lack of it - and thinking about maybe doing something to reduce any inner tensions.
What are some of the warning signs of too much stress load on the body? Here are a few:
If you have, maybe it's time to think about changing something. The 'Help Pages' contain some ideas in this regard: I recommend them to you and hope you find there something that helps you.
At one time in my life I took action to remove myself from a source of stress. After a couple of weeks I suddenly found that my stomach muscles were relaxed. Only then did I realise that for years I had been so uptight my stomach muscles were always tight - suddenly I was relaxed and had some inner peace.
It may be worth while taking stock of one's inner peace level - or lack of it - and thinking about maybe doing something to reduce any inner tensions.
What are some of the warning signs of too much stress load on the body? Here are a few:
- As above, tight tummy muscles
- Digestion or elimination issues
- Heart palpitations
- Sweaty hands most of the time
- Headaches, including migraines
- Hearing your heartbeats thumping in your ear
- A nervous tick below either eye
If you have, maybe it's time to think about changing something. The 'Help Pages' contain some ideas in this regard: I recommend them to you and hope you find there something that helps you.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
CARRYING A GRUDGE
Sometimes in life we get resentful toward some person or situation. It seems natural to say something like: "Well! No way I will forgive him/her/it for that!"
What this does is turn on a little corner of tension way inside of us, a little bit of anger. After all, it DID hurt at the time when the event happened. Why should we even think about forgiving whatever it was?
These little bits of tension add to any stress that our body is handling: our body has a bit more to cope with, besides keeping us healthy, digesting our food, running all of our operating systems.
These tensions we hold tend to make our muscles tense and this takes energy: the more stressful we become the more energy we may burn up.
We also now accept that inner tensions reduce the effectiveness of our immune system: that's why we seem to pick up colds and stuff when we are under stress all the time.
The answer to holding a grudge is to FORGIVE the person or thing that caused out hurt. This is a low cost, natural way to reduce unnecessary stress in our lives.
We do not forgive for the other person: we forgive for our own inner peace.
Think about this if you find yourself mentally composing nasty letters to someone because you were hurt in some way.
Try it. It will help.
What this does is turn on a little corner of tension way inside of us, a little bit of anger. After all, it DID hurt at the time when the event happened. Why should we even think about forgiving whatever it was?
These little bits of tension add to any stress that our body is handling: our body has a bit more to cope with, besides keeping us healthy, digesting our food, running all of our operating systems.
These tensions we hold tend to make our muscles tense and this takes energy: the more stressful we become the more energy we may burn up.
We also now accept that inner tensions reduce the effectiveness of our immune system: that's why we seem to pick up colds and stuff when we are under stress all the time.
The answer to holding a grudge is to FORGIVE the person or thing that caused out hurt. This is a low cost, natural way to reduce unnecessary stress in our lives.
We do not forgive for the other person: we forgive for our own inner peace.
Think about this if you find yourself mentally composing nasty letters to someone because you were hurt in some way.
Try it. It will help.
Monday, October 8, 2012
TENSION BREAKERS
Sometimes we are in situations where we just have to carry on despite feeling stressed.
Is there anything we can do to help us at these times?
Yes there is.
Most 'tension relievers' revolve around some from of simple meditation.
Here are a few ways to break out of your tense feelings -
Until next time, love yourself - you are valuable to all of us.
Is there anything we can do to help us at these times?
Yes there is.
Most 'tension relievers' revolve around some from of simple meditation.
Here are a few ways to break out of your tense feelings -
- First try to get to a quiet place on your own (even the toilet may have to do!)
- Try to concentrate on your breathing: just feel the air going into your body and then flowing out again - you can start to breathe more deeply as this will enhance your awareness. Keep this up for a few minutes and hopefully you should start to feel more calm.
- Try thinking about your very favourite place or event that meant something to you: try to feel the feelings you had then. President Harry S. Truman used to get his phone calls stopped and then, as he said, "Go into his mental foxhole and think about his lake fishing spot". Just a few minutes of this will break the tension.
- Go for a walk if you can - briskly, don't just dawdle - and often the physical activity will drain away the stress.
- Take a drink of alcohol - you can start to depend on grog too often.
- Light up a cigarette - won't make you healthier in the long term
- Get into an argument - this may let your tension out, at the cost of the feelings of your workmates, loved ones or friends.
Until next time, love yourself - you are valuable to all of us.
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